Title: The ABC’s of Dee
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Publisher: Bannister Books
It always starts out so innocent. A drink, a laugh, a bet. For 40-year-old Dee Harper, her hum-drum life is about to become…educated.
When Dee’s wealthy friend, Gail, makes her a ridiculous bet, she never dreams she’ll actually go through with it. After all, dating 26 men in one year, from A-Z, is ludicrous. Right? Then Gail offers her fifty thousand dollars if she succeeds. Now that, is an offer she can’t refuse.
From Adam the cocky limo driver to Kevin the klepto Dee learns the hard way what sort of guy she doesn’t want.
Filled to the brim with snark and sarcasm about the joys of dating ‘later in life,’ The ABC’s of Dee reminds us that even though life sometimes sucks, there is always someone there to laugh with.
~ Excerpt ~
It’s ten minutes to seven and my underwear has already climbed up my ass more times than people have climbed Everest. I would love to blame Victoria’s Secret for selling me faulty ‘3 for $25.00 panties,’ but let’s be honest, I’m the one trying to cram my 40-year-old fanny into underwear meant for people who don’t eat food. They just looked so good on the stark white, half-butt mannequin that I thought they would totally cover the square footage of my backside. I was grossly mistaken.
As I yank the neon pink cloth from the depths no undies should go (again), I debate whether I should change them or not. On the one hand, it is only a first date. Wearing these will pretty much assure he’ll be getting some because I don’t intend to wear this torture device all night long for nothing. On the other hand, it is only a first date. Wearing some good old ‘period panties’ would guarantee that there would be no traveling South of the Elastic Band Border and my cheeks would actually be comfortably contained. Decisions, decisions.
That’s it. I’m becoming a nun. Nuns don’t have to deal with this shit. They don’t have to question how much wedgie-control is adequate for a first date. They can just sit in silence with no judgment about who they’re dating, why their legs aren’t shaved, or why they haven’t had sex in two years. I know. I have issues. And a lot of toys.
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Danielle Bannister lives with her two children in Midcoast Maine. She holds a BA in Theatre from the University of Southern Maine and her Masters degree in Literary Education from the University of Orono. She has written the Twin Flame Trilogy: PULLED, PULLED BACK, and PULLED BACK AGAIN, as well as the Snarky Romantic Comedy: THE ABC’S OF DEE. She has a collection of short stories called: SHORT SHORTS. In addition, her work can also be found in the following anthologies: 2012 Goose River Anthology, 2012 Writeous Anthology, 2013 Maine Writes: Maine National Writing Project Anthology; and, 2013 The Stroke of Midnight: A Supernatural New Year’s Anthology.