~ Synopsis ~
At 33 weeks pregnant, Amy is certain something bad will soon happen, it has too many times before. Deep down she fears it’s only a matter of time before the baby she’s carrying will die. Despite the fact that Amy has been repeatedly slapped in the face with multiple miscarriages, she still can’t seem to quiet that tiny voice in the back of her head that’s screaming at her to not give up hope.Follow Amy’s true story as she stumbles through her journey with humor and warmth all while dealing with the neuroses that come along with getting her hopes shattered time and time again. All she has to do is close her eyes and she’s lurched back to the memories of her losses on the floor in her bathroom, in the hospital, and even at her place of work. No one knows what the internal mind of a woman who’s lost five babies and suffered this many let downs goes through. Can Hope ever truly survive memories such as these?
~ Excerpt ~
A Few days after we scheduled our C-section, I eagerly awaited my very first baby shower. I decided to have a baby shower while still pregnant instead of waiting until after the baby was born. This was a big decision for me, mostly because having a baby shower during pregnancy would insinuate to the world that I assumed this baby wouldarrive safely. That was a big no-no for me. Sorry God, please don’t curse me. Conversely, I just couldn’t shake the dream of my baby shower occurring while I was still pregnant and rocking a nice big baby bump.I anxiously got dressed for my shower and carefully selected a bold print maternity dress with cap-sleeves. I accentuated my round bump by adding a thick black leather belt notched tightly at the empirewaste line. I looked good, I felt good, and I was ready. Before I got into my car I had a quick and private conversation with my baby-to-be.
“Okay sweetie, you behave in there, okay? Mommy is going to bevery busy talking and opening gifts. We’re going to attempt to celebrate your impending arrival. So if you could just wiggle and kick and let me know you’re doing alright in there, it would really help Mommy feel better and enjoy her day, got it?”
I, of course, received no response. My baby was not the type to be manipulated or guilted into anything on command. I could already tell she’d be one of those kids that would march to the beat of her own drum. The prospect of my baby having her own little personality, already thrilled me.
~ Review by Angela ~
*I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.When Amy approached me and asked me to proofread/beta read her story about her struggles, I wondered if I was the right audience. Yes, I’m a woman and a mom, but my children are adopted. I never tried to get pregnant and have my own biological children. I have never been accidentally pregnant nor had I miscarried. But, I read it and I think that if Amy could pull these emotions out of me, or someone who has never been pregnant, then she was going to hit a home run.
This book gave me all of “the feels” imaginable. I was sad, happy, pissed off, surprised, depressed, you name it – I felt it. I told my friend Jude that she needed to read this book. She told me that if she cried that she would “cut me.” I don’t think she’s serious. But, if you don’t want to cry while reading a book, don’t get this one. This one will make you cry and it will make you scream and it will make you laugh and it will hurt your heart. However, you realize that while reading it, no matter how hard you have it in life, it could always be worse. If Amy Daws can have this amazing tragedy happen in her life and come out ok on the other side (i.e., with all of her marbles), then we can hope that we will too. I give this 5 outstanding books!
About the Author
Amy Daws is local TV network affiliate commercial producer and lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin and their daughter, Lorelei. She graduated with honors from the University of Northern Iowa, despite fiercely executing her wild college-girl phase. Amy received her make-believe medical degree from the school of Google on infertility and miscarriage. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing in their living room to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children sized playhouses and then struggling to get back out because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle. She is passionate about sharing her story and connecting with other couples that have suffered losses and are in search of real-life understanding. Amy held on to hope in her journey because she knew the payoff of a miracle baby would be worth the wait.